Look…i get it. I get the fact that no one turns on the TV just to watch music videos. (Except Canadian sardars and Dubai based “my rights as a maid are getting abused” Keralites who still fiddle with their dish antennas to follow busty women dancing with village folk on ETC Punjabi and Eenadu and stay connected with their desh) I get it.
I also get that colon cannonballs flow from the top. Having led some organizations and movements in my life – I realize that a lot of shit needs to be done and people need to follow that shit for the entire enterprise to survive. So I get that MTV India too had to change programming focus to reality TV shows and less on music videos to stay financially viable and re-attract eyeballs on direction from Viacom in the U.S. of crappy programming A. I get that Shehnaz Treasurywala had to try her luck in Bollywood and disappoint millions of boys like me as younger uglier VJs like Bani J took over. But for f*^&s sake - can we have atleast SOME quality control?!!
Youngistaanis – crying desperately for someone to talk to them in leet lingo have taken to their reality shows like a makkhi to a purple coloured tubelight zapper sitting in the corner of a dirty local fast food joint. I also admit that Bakra was funny – but the new wave which started (atleast in my mind) with MTV Roadies became so popular that they quickly sold out and cashed in - churning out the same mindless bone-headed drivel like a Chinese toy factory. (Some of those shows have underage kids – and ofcourse our brains are already as thick as lead)
To clarify my point – after much espionage and trouble I have managed to attain the “MTV India reality show creation template” which clearly highlights how all their shows are just re-hashed versions of the same shit.
nanda kumar jai
I also get that colon cannonballs flow from the top. Having led some organizations and movements in my life – I realize that a lot of shit needs to be done and people need to follow that shit for the entire enterprise to survive. So I get that MTV India too had to change programming focus to reality TV shows and less on music videos to stay financially viable and re-attract eyeballs on direction from Viacom in the U.S. of crappy programming A. I get that Shehnaz Treasurywala had to try her luck in Bollywood and disappoint millions of boys like me as younger uglier VJs like Bani J took over. But for f*^&s sake - can we have atleast SOME quality control?!!
Youngistaanis – crying desperately for someone to talk to them in leet lingo have taken to their reality shows like a makkhi to a purple coloured tubelight zapper sitting in the corner of a dirty local fast food joint. I also admit that Bakra was funny – but the new wave which started (atleast in my mind) with MTV Roadies became so popular that they quickly sold out and cashed in - churning out the same mindless bone-headed drivel like a Chinese toy factory. (Some of those shows have underage kids – and ofcourse our brains are already as thick as lead)
To clarify my point – after much espionage and trouble I have managed to attain the “MTV India reality show creation template” which clearly highlights how all their shows are just re-hashed versions of the same shit.
MTV Roadies: This apparently is the biggest money spinner off the lot and has turned a bald dude named Raghu (who seems perfectly nice) cash in on his “I made Che Guevera pee his pants” persona by hosting and judging other TV shows/start talking about social issues/tell the world to create their own identity by buying a crapass Archies watch. It also made winner? From a previous season called Rannvijay start writing for HT City. Is this the state of affairs in our country that these are our role models? His wife apparently is the punk looking girl in the movie “Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Naa” – who funnily enough also looked like Roadie. No surprise there.
Splitsvilla: Supposed models (Read airheads) with good bodies “looking for love” and a chance to win a 5 minute long TV show. Their claim to fame is that the guys and girls fight a lot – and quickly start spewing Punjabi once English profanities don’t seem to have the desired affect. Its true – the F word will never be as powerful as an MC. In one episode a chic said – stamina is very important in a guy. If he doesn’t have stamina how will he perform in bed. (Okay then – why don’t you date a Delhi Metro worker? ) She had inadvertently explained the cause of India’s population crisis. We have so many hard working labourers in our country who are full of stamina – so they keep screwing all the time – hence the hundreds of babies per family. Also allowed us to see Nikhil Chinappa keep repeating “Splitsvilla – where LOVE is WAR”. Automatic reaction – “MTV – Where my brain goes to take a piss”
Connected: Another “new show” of re-hashed twins who had auditioned for their previous shows. Put together to cash in on the popularity of Raghu and Rajiv (Also twins! Yay!) Involves them performing tasks like kicking a ball into a goal. I swear I saw this for 15 minutes and one of my eye-ball’s fell out. It said it wasn’t “Connected” enough to me.
MTV Teen Diva: One: It is inherently wrong to allow 15 year old girls to pose in a teeny sexy manner with a scooter (Think Britney Spears – Harley Davidson – I Love Rock n Roll video) Why is it wrong? (Insert standard joke about R Kelly urinating on his underage victim after raping her). Also – as much as its corporate marketing bliss – winning an immunity task should not land girls in a “Stayfree Safe Zone”. Wonder what they’ll call it if they do a show called MTV Teen Stud.Fast n the Gorgeous: Their promo tagline was “Where have all the hot girls gone.” Well MTV for once I would ask the same question and agree – cuz they sure as hell don’t seem to be on your show either. Here they perform tasks on the basis of countries where races happen (wow! Im sure the person who came up with this idea got a promotion!) So for the Italian task – one set of girls tied the other set up and threw Pizzas on their faces which looked like dartboards without make-up anyway. All I can say is – thank you for the cultural sensitivity and I would LOVE for you to try that if you actually go there. I hear Italian policemen like stuffing people’s assess with Fusilli too.I would love to keep blaimg MTV but people keep watching this junk which is actually fit for an academic study on sociological changes in India. As much as its making kids stupider – its also reflective of the kind of stuff young people want to watch. We all loved to watch saas-bahus conspire each other. Now were watching Colaba and Greater Kailash women and men doing the same with an Ahmedabad small town dude trying to fit in. But cmon MTV – atleast make something NEW!
Its ok to cash in – but don’t keep ripping off the same template over and over and over again. Give us something intelligent once in a while. We know its not your job – you are only meant to entertain – but then lets have the Shell corporation say – hey we just extract the oil – that’s our job – the environmental imbalance....Meh…not our job.
Im afraid to say that the angst ridden – low on opportunity – high on confidence cuz everyone keeps telling them they are living in a 21st century superpower – “kewl dudes and dudettes” – wanting to be white – twitter loving social activist fashionistas are already a pretty dumb generation – and MTV – you are just adding gobar gas to the fire.
You have turned into a monstrosity. Stop the reality TV hyper celebrity get famous or die tryin bakwaas and get back to playing the music. If you want send these shows over to your sister network VH1 which not too many cable waalas show – thus saving kids from watching Yo Momma! Pimp My Ride and Cribs (the horror)
MTV Teen Diva: One: It is inherently wrong to allow 15 year old girls to pose in a teeny sexy manner with a scooter (Think Britney Spears – Harley Davidson – I Love Rock n Roll video) Why is it wrong? (Insert standard joke about R Kelly urinating on his underage victim after raping her). Also – as much as its corporate marketing bliss – winning an immunity task should not land girls in a “Stayfree Safe Zone”. Wonder what they’ll call it if they do a show called MTV Teen Stud.Fast n the Gorgeous: Their promo tagline was “Where have all the hot girls gone.” Well MTV for once I would ask the same question and agree – cuz they sure as hell don’t seem to be on your show either. Here they perform tasks on the basis of countries where races happen (wow! Im sure the person who came up with this idea got a promotion!) So for the Italian task – one set of girls tied the other set up and threw Pizzas on their faces which looked like dartboards without make-up anyway. All I can say is – thank you for the cultural sensitivity and I would LOVE for you to try that if you actually go there. I hear Italian policemen like stuffing people’s assess with Fusilli too.I would love to keep blaimg MTV but people keep watching this junk which is actually fit for an academic study on sociological changes in India. As much as its making kids stupider – its also reflective of the kind of stuff young people want to watch. We all loved to watch saas-bahus conspire each other. Now were watching Colaba and Greater Kailash women and men doing the same with an Ahmedabad small town dude trying to fit in. But cmon MTV – atleast make something NEW!
Its ok to cash in – but don’t keep ripping off the same template over and over and over again. Give us something intelligent once in a while. We know its not your job – you are only meant to entertain – but then lets have the Shell corporation say – hey we just extract the oil – that’s our job – the environmental imbalance....Meh…not our job.
Im afraid to say that the angst ridden – low on opportunity – high on confidence cuz everyone keeps telling them they are living in a 21st century superpower – “kewl dudes and dudettes” – wanting to be white – twitter loving social activist fashionistas are already a pretty dumb generation – and MTV – you are just adding gobar gas to the fire.
You have turned into a monstrosity. Stop the reality TV hyper celebrity get famous or die tryin bakwaas and get back to playing the music. If you want send these shows over to your sister network VH1 which not too many cable waalas show – thus saving kids from watching Yo Momma! Pimp My Ride and Cribs (the horror)
And oh – FIRE CYRUS BROACHA! Really - he isnt funny anymor
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